The adbreak ends at 6:47pm.

'Welcome back to Deal or No Deal... we've started as we mean to go on with Ian winning a massive £80,000, but that is just the beginning. We've reshuffled the boxes during the break, and there's a space for a new player to replace Ian. Please welcome, representing the Ulster region, BRIAN!'

A young man with red, spikey hair comes to the space on the West Wing vacated by Ian. A brief and none-too-revealing interview follows.

'We'll see him take on the Banker in due course, but we need an adversary right now!'

And with that, the lights flicker, and then start to turn off, and the one remaining is for...

'JACQUI!'

Jacqui raises her arm as much as she reasonably can in her suit and seems quite excited as she heads over for play.

West Wing:
Anglia: Bill - 4
Border: Moirrey - 18
Central: Oliver - 3
Granada: Caitlin - 10
London: Pawel - 5
Meridian: Alice - 26
Scotland: Yvonne - 24
Tyne Tees: Gavin - 16
Ulster: Brian - 22
Wales: Meinir - 14
West: Ben - 11
Westcountry: Gillian - 6
Yorkhire: Alex - 25

East Wing:
Anglia: Zoja - 13
Border: Donald - 21
Central: Jacqui - 15
Granada: Geoffrey - 9
London: Alisha - 2
Meridian: Cyril - 7
Scotland: Ewan - 17
Tyne Tees: Wendy - 8
Ulster: Fiona - 1
Wales: Terry - 12
West: Margaret - 19
Westcountry: Quentin - 20
Yorkhire: Abbie - 23

The formalities are complete, she chose Box 15 at random and only the independent adjudicator and - don't forget - the Banker knows its value, there's six boxes to open this round.

And she goes straight into the system.

'My first child was born on February 25 and is now 9, so I'd like to have Box 2, then Box 25 and then Box 9 please.'

'Oh-kay then, away we go! No messing around here, straight into a system!'

By the way, here is Jacqui:

Created in The Sims 2

Box 2 - £400

Box 25 - £200,000

Box 9 - £50

A whoop. Then a groan. Then another whoop.

'Now three more.'

'My second child was born on October 19 and is now 6, so I'd like 10, 19 and 6 please. All at once again.'

Box 10 - £500,000

Box 19 - £5

Box 6 - £1

Everyone groaned, obviously, at the loss of the top prize. But Jacqui kept on going, steeling herself... 'And Margaret, just get on with it!' Patrick: 'My thoughts exactly.'

The Banker phoned. 'He's going to be a bit happier now...'

'Yup. He's saying his day is nearly done, and he wants to end it on his terms. And he can.'

'The offer is £990.'



Jacqui doesn't need to think about it. 'There's still a lot of money there. A lot more than THAT.'

'£990, Deal or No Deal?' 'No Deal.'

'My kids let me down, so I'll pick Box 26 because it's the nearest number here to the number of toys they've left on the floor.' Everyone laughs. The phone rings immediately.

'Wait, wait...'

'Hello?'

'Oh...'

'If you say so.'

Patrick hangs up looking moody.

'He did say that his day was nearly done and he wanted to end it on his terms... and he's true to those words. He's not going to let you open another box until tomorrow.'

The audience groans.

'Find out if Jacqui can turn the game around tomorrow, same time, 6 o'clock, ITV1. Until then, goodbye for now!'

Day Two: Tuesday September 2nd 2008

'Welcome once again to Deal or No Deal... a game that has already thrown up so many surprises. Someone's nearly hit me, someone else sung OBNOXIOUSLY loudly...and someone else won EIGHTY thousand pounds!' The crowd whoop.

'Jacqui is here now, and has opened six boxes, some good, some bad. When they were good, they were very, very good... but when they were bad...'

Jacqui interrupts. 'They were horrid.'

'You said it Jacqui... £500,000 and £200,000 both gone in the opening round, producing a frankly ludicrous £990 offer which we turned down to finish the show. Five more to open before the second offer, and we need to stay away from £300,000 to provide some kind of strength to this game.'

'I was going to pick 26, and I'm sticking with that. Box 26 please.'

Patrick gets his chance to go crazy again... 'BOOYEAH!' Alice, wearing a long and elaborate dress, can clearly be heard shrieking over Patrick and the audience. 'Oh, Alice... don't you start!'

'Start what?'

'Shrieking! We've had enough of that from Margaret! OPEN BOX 26!'

Box 26 - £5,000

The crowd clap. Jacqui nods approvingly - 'That'll do fine... I'd ask for Box 9 to finish the rhyme...' The crowd groans. 'But I've already opened it!' They laugh.

'I guess I need to banish the demons. Box 13.'

Box 13 - £100

'That helps a lot', says Jacqui, turning to Zoja and thanking her.

'Three more like that and we're in business.'

'Box 18, the lovely Moirrey.'

Box 18 - £15,000

'No complaints,' said Jacqui. 'Nothing compared to the damage earlier.'

'Two more to go, two more bullets to dodge.'

'Box 24 please.'

'Yvonne, you had the £500,000 last time, and you visibly cracked.'

'I know, I never thought I'd be like that but I think I just got so involved in the game that I had to.'

'Well, the good news is we know you don't have £500,000, that's gone already. The bad news is that if this is £300,000, it will also be hugely destructive. Open Box 24.'

Box 24 - £50,000

The crowd groan. 'I think someone wanted me to have £500,000 again, but they took a zero off so nobody complained!' laughs Yvonne, in a thick Scottish accent.

'Now, if that's the end of the damage for this round, you will still be on course for good money. One more to open, and now the pressure really is on.'

'11 please, Ben.'

Box 11 - £500

'That's much better', Jacqui responds.

'You needed that... and he didn't.'

'Who's he?'

'Don't you know the rules of the...'

The phone goes off.

'How dare you insult me like that?' bellows the Banker, or at least that's what Patrick says he did.

'It's obvious you've angered him significantly... and that hasn't helped the offer. However, we have gone up a bit. £3,000.'



'Emphasis on 'a bit' eh?' Jacqui calls out. 'Eh?'

'No advice needed yet?'

'I'll need advice when we start playing properly, Patrick.' The crowd like that.

'£3,000... Deal or No Deal?' 'Absolutely No Deal.'

'Right. Four more. Avoid major damage to the right side of the board, and you will cause major damage to the Banker's plans.'

'I like the sound of that. Box 5 please.' Pawel opens the box left-handed with a curious motion; he opened his box right-handed yesterday...