West Wing:
Anglia: Bill - 20
Border: Moirrey - 5
Central: Oliver - 10
Granada: Caitlin - 13
London: Pawel - 19
Meridian: Alice - 18
Scotland: Kyle - 17
Tyne Tees: Gavin - 11
Ulster: Brian - 14
Wales: Meinir - 6
West: Ben - 4
Westcountry: Gillian - 15
Yorkhire: Alex - 16

East Wing:
Anglia: Zoja - 12
Border: Donald - 23
Central: Rosalind - 1
Granada: Geoffrey - 26
London: Alisha - 9
Meridian: Cyril - 22
Scotland: Ewan - 7
Tyne Tees: Wendy - 3
Ulster: Fleur - 24
Wales: Terry - 21
West: Margaret - 8
Westcountry: Quentin - 2
Yorkhire: Abbie - 25

Episode 4: Thursday 4th September 2008

'Welcome, one and all, to the big-money game of luck and judgement that IS Deal or No Deal... the luck is in for our players right now, as everyone has walked away with big sums of money, but their judgement could be considered... not quite perfect. Every single one of the players so far could have won more by going on further. Is that just because they keep getting lucky, or do we need players with more guts? Tonight, we may find an answer.

One thing we'll certainly find is a replacement for Yvonne, who left us last night with a massive £89,500... please welcome KYLE!'

Kyle walks in confidently, with auburn hair styled into a bit of a quiff which Patrick plays on a bit.

'We'll see him eventually, but we're going to see someone else now... who will it be?'

The lights flicker, the lights turn off...

'WENDY!'

Patrick is laughing hysterically at the bingo ball plan. 'Well, if it makes you feel better, I suppose it works... but if you start taking out all of the big numbers early on, you may well be in the market for a bionic hand that can pick the right balls.' Now it's the audience's turn to burst into uncontrolled giggling.

'Anyway... I'll just find number 3 for you, because you chose that... at random before the show, and the only people who know its contents are our independent adjudicator...' Patrick taps the phone. 'And him.'

Wendy can't find ball 3... neither can Patrick. 'Oh, we'll leave it,' Wendy says.

Hand goes in hat... '7.' That's Ewan. ''Nice plan there Wendy, good luck!'

Box 7 - 50p

'That's the way!' says Patrick. 'Here we go again!' cries Wendy, dipping into the hat to pick...

'16.' Alex.

Box 16 - £200,000

'Well, that was a load of balls,' jokes Patrick to shocked looks. We'll wait and see how many people complain about that to Ofcom...

(six, as it turned out. The complaints were rejected.)

'Won't put me off!' Wendy declares bullishly... '8.' 'Margaret... saved to the end the last couple of games, but not tonight.' 'Oh, it's a pleasure to be used early... it means I can spend the rest of the game being less nervous about my box... so I can be all chirpy and burst into song!'

'Save that... OPEN THE BOX!' She does so.

Box 8 - £50

'Thank you, Margaret. For delivering a minimal sum of money at minimal volume.' Laughter. 'You've provoked me now, believe me...' Margaret replies, before bursting into song.

Wendy laughs, but then puts her hand in the hat. '24.' That's Fleur.

Box 24 - £20,000

Silence. 'I'll take that as a good thing, it's not bad enough to warrant a groan,' says Wendy, and that draws a few cheers.

'Two more, and we can still classify it as a decent opening if two small amounts go.'

Hand in hat... '14.' That's Brian, who rushes into his box-opening before Patrick can even speak.

Box 14 - £30,000

'Oof, that's a nasty hole,' Patrick remarks. 'I know. I don't like holes, they make me feel empty inside,' Wendy replies.

'One more, and we want a nice filling little number.' 'I would say a dress, but alas they tend to squash rather than fill...' Wendy jokes in reply as her hand enters the hat again... '20.' That's Bill. 'You're mad, you know,' Bill tells Wendy as he opens the box.

Box 20 - £100,000

'Drat!' Wendy exclaims. 'Another hole!'

'Now we're in a real spot of bother here...' remarks Patrick. 'What's more, every player so far has had at least £20,000 in their box. We're due someone with a worthless box, and maybe it's you.'

The phone rings. 'And if it is you, this guy will know about it and try and string you along into disaster.'

'Hello. You're no doubt dreaming of better things again. You've not had a good week so far.'

'Oh... yeah... fine...'

*hang up*

'Four big numbers gone, offer of £400.'



'It's barely enough for four tins of paint,' remarks Wendy. 'Where DO you get your paint from, Wendy?' Patrick asks in astonishment. 'They're big tins, you know,' Wendy replies. 'And this is not a big decision. I'm ready.'

'£400, Deal or No Deal?' 'No Deal.'

Before Patrick can ask, Wendy has her hand in the hat. 'You're still sticking with this plan?' 'I've started so I'll finish,' she replies instantly.

'22.' That's Cyril. 'I'm a bit of a wuss and even I can tell that last offer was ludicrous.'

Box 22 - £500,000

Horror in the audience. Wendy looks shocked too.

'Clearly... this plan isn't working.' 'It's all luck, Patrick, nothing to do with the plan...'

As she picks out a ball, Patrick whispers to the camera 'I think she might need that bionic hand.'

'1.' Rosalind. 'You have been ONE unlucky lady so far... I hope this box is the ONE to change that!'

Box 1 - £200