'Welcome back! So Fiona missed out on £75,000 but still goes back to Enniskillen with £24,500. She's left a space, and it's now being occupied by FLEUR!'

Fleur wanders in wearing a yellow strappy top and bright pink jeans; she has her red hair in a similar shade to Fiona's but a lot shorter, and she looks very similar to Carrie Grant from Fame Academy. Patrick, who hosted that show back in 2002 and 2003, points out the likeness. 'I've never thought of that before actually!' she jokes. 'Anyway, how are you Patrick?'

'I'm more than happy to see you!' he replies, to laughter. 'Why's that? Weren't you satisfied with all the pretty young things on Love Island?' More laughter.

'I think we'd better move right on... we'll see Fleur get her chance in due course, but now we have to pick a player to go right now...'

And as the lights go out, one stays on... 'IT'S YVONNE!'

West Wing:
Anglia: Bill - 9
Border: Moirrey - 20
Central: Oliver - 22
Granada: Caitlin - 8
London: Pawel - 18
Meridian: Alice - 1
Scotland: Yvonne - 5
Tyne Tees: Gavin - 12
Ulster: Brian - 3
Wales: Meinir - 4
West: Ben - 26
Westcountry: Gillian - 23
Yorkhire: Alex - 21

East Wing:
Anglia: Zoja - 14
Border: Donald - 19
Central: Rosalind - 6
Granada: Geoffrey - 11
London: Alisha - 7
Meridian: Cyril - 16
Scotland: Ewan - 2
Tyne Tees: Wendy - 13
Ulster: Fleur - 17
Wales: Terry - 10
West: Margaret - 25
Westcountry: Quentin - 15
Yorkhire: Abbie - 24

Formalities done... 'Are you ready for this?' 'I'm always ready for anything. That's why I do what I do.' 'Then away we go.' 'HO, HO, AWAY WE GO!' cries Yvonne. As battle cries go, it's not bad, albeit lacking in flair. 'Box 17 please.' 'Getting the virgin out of the way?' Patrick says, to much laughter. 'Oh, do stop it,' Yvonne says - she's in no mood for smut, she's here to play.

Box 17 - £300,000

'Long way to go,' says Yvonne, but you can tell she's not happy. '22 please.' Oliver looks a bit uncomfortable already.

Box 22 - 50p

'That's a lot better,' says Yvonne, stating the bleeding obvious. '20 please.' Moirrey ducks under the benches before Patrick can flirt with her, as he's obviously in that kind of mood tonight, and opens the box awkwardly...

Box 20 - 10p

'I don't do things by halves do I?' Yvonne jokes. 'That's one way to put it!' Patrick replies. 'And we're, um, HALFWAY through the round! Three down, three to go!'

'Let's go for the halfway-up value, Spooky 13!' That's Wendy. 'I warn you, I'm horribly superstitious... and I'm into fung shui, and I can feel the negative energy in the layout of the studio... so I'm a bit nervous about this...'

'I'm not one for changing my mind, still opening 13.'

Box 13 - £100

'At least it didn't have the same as it did when I had it!' Yvonne laughs (she had £500,000 in Box 13 for the first game). 'I'm not superstitious now!'

'Two more, and that first box will seem a distant memory.'

'Box 4 please.' That's Meinir, who opens her box in double-quick time.

Box 4 - £10

'One more then, and this bounceback will be so good we'll be in ORBIT!'

'If you say so, Patrick. Box 12.' Gavin looks pumped-up as ever as he opens the box and virtually sends it into orbit itself!

Box 12 - £300

'Wahey!' Patrick cries. 'We're bouncing back, we really are FLYING! Something tells me this is going to be a good game...'

*ring*

'Hello?'

'You don't believe me. You think the first box defines everything? We're proving you SO wrong.'

'OK, thanks for nothing...'

'£2,100.'



'I don't waste time. Ask me the question.' 'Oh, OK, £2,100, Deal or No Deal?' 'NO DEAL!' she shouts, with a hint of fury. 'What does he TAKE me for?'

'Five more, and maybe we'll get to somewhere decent with the next offer.'

'Box 14 please.' Zoja, who was disgusted by the offer too; 'Has this Banker even seen the board?' Laughter. 'I don't think he has!' replies Yvonne.

Box 14 - £30,000

'Ooh dear,' Yvonne says. 'He'd better not use that as an excuse to insult me again.'

'It's OK, it's not all that bad. Four more boxes, and don't give him another excuse.'

'Box 1 please. TOP BANANA!' Yvonne has burst out of her shell somehow. 'Oh, don't remind me of the HORRIBLE banana yellow dress I wore to my end-of-school prom a few years ago!' Alice shrieks. 'You're not wearing it now, just open the box,' Patrick replies, giving her short shrift.

Box 1 - 1p

'TOP BANANA INDEED!' cries Patrick. Alice does a little dance, but Yvonne immediately calls for Box 24, and she delivers possibly the fastest box-opening ever...

Box 24 - £50,000