"It's Friday! Welcome to Deal or No Deal!" Beth's bounciness is undeniable as she introduces the show. "Oh, did we ever have a nerve-jangler with Carsten yesterday - and I had no idea what he was going to do at times, but eventually he managed to win Tk15,000. He could have won a lot more, actually - Tk38,000, even - but for a while I wondered if he'd win anything at all. It was a nervous game as it was, but how much more tense are these games going to be once Tk300,000 is on the line? It's not survived two rounds yet - nor has the Tk200,000! That's got to change, surely? Let's see who's playing..."

The names start scrolling... "...hopefully you'll get a big-money game right from the word go... HARRIET!"

"Welcome, then, to Harriet Rees, a meteorologist from Zube, and you have an interesting path." "Yes, I was actually a weather presenter for local TV news in Zube, and they fired me for, they said, being too fat - they actually said that, not even saying anything else. At least they were honest I suppose." Beth gasps. "I never realised until quite recently just how much of this goes on - I mean, you know that I've had this in my career (Beth's work before this show was as a comedienne and plus-size model), I actually started the comedy after I quit straight-size modelling and then when I was signed up to plus-size modelling people said I wasn't big enough or others said I was lazy for not staying in straight-size, and - you know me as a funny woman, but this is something I'm dead serious about, because nothing like this happens for men, and this is sexism and it has to stop." "And this is precisely why I now work actually as a meteorologist - I was actually partway through my degree when I got signed up for local TV, finished my degree while doing the morning show, and looking back I really was dressed up and treated as a dolly bird..." "I know, right? It's like 'here's your weather, presented by SEX!'" Laughter. "But because I was wearing these cool clothes, well they felt cool then but they were low-cut nine times out of ten and when I look back I feel nauseous, but then it felt amazing, like you were suddenly important. Then I put on two kilos and they got rid of me and put in someone with no meteorological training who used to do modelling." Beth gasps. "That's... that's like asking me to do the weather! I don't even understand the weather forecasts when I'm watching them!" Laughter. "And now, I understand, you're in an office doing the proper sciency stuff." "Exactly that. Of course, the sexism hasn't ended there either, but it's nothing like as bad - people are genuinely shocked when they hear about how I left TV, and I think it's made a few people change their attitudes." "Well, hopefully the forecast is bright for your future, starting right here with this game." For which Harriet has box 22.

"Let the game begin!"

"OK then! Let's start with number 12, the new player Lia." "Lia, a warm welcome to the game!" "Very good to see you, and I know that a lot of what you and Harriet talked about really resonated with me. It's so wrong that people, well nearly always women, are judged so much on the way they look." "Absolutely. So clearly, you really want Harriet to do well." "Definitely." "Hopefully, this will start us off. Open box 12."

Box 12 (Lia) - Tk750

Warm applause. "That starts things in the right way." "Number 13." "Next door in numbers, and right next to Lia as well - Marius, open 13!" "Thank you - good luck!"

Box 13 (Marius) - Tk5,000

Harriet nods her head. "That'll do too," Beth suggests. "I think I will go with number 14, seeing as Iris is right next door as well." Iris is on the other side of Lia on what UK DoND would call the East Wing. "Well, three in a row in more ways than one, but will it be a third decent box? Iris, open box 14 and we'll find out." "All the best."

Box 14 (Iris) - Tk300,000

"Oh, no - it's happened again!" "Oh well," Harriet says. "I'll go with number 19." "Over the other side to Wynke, and we need this to be over the other side of the board, please!"

Box 19 (Wynke) - Tk100,000

Gasps from the audience. "This is just uncanny, how we never seem to start the game well..." "It's quite worrying really, isn't it? Never mind, maybe Kathy can fix it with number 21." "Right next to that opening cluster, we're going back there again and surely, surely, this won't be another huge number." "You'd think not, wouldn't you? Good luck."

Box 21 (Kathy) - Tk500

There is almost a sense of ironic applause already. The Banker says he can't believe how lucky he has been so far!

Tk1
Tk5
Tk10
Tk20
Tk50
Tk100
Tk150
Tk200
Tk300
Tk400
Tk1,000
Tk2,500
Tk7,500
Tk10,000
Tk15,000
Tk25,000
Tk50,000
Tk75,000
Tk200,000

Banker's offer:

Tk3,000

"It's better than nothing," Harriet says. But it's not enough - NO DEAL. "Can we get this game back on track? Can we clear the depression and relieve the pressure? Find out after the break."

"We're back with Harriet Rees on Deal or No Deal, and not for the first time in this first week of the show, she hasn't had much luck. The top prize of Tk300,000 has already gone, and now we're really hoping to cling onto Tk200,000 - which hasn't survived the first two rounds so far, for any of our four contestants to date. We need some luck in this building!"

"I'll go with number 8." "Marvin, that's you - we need a nice safe box opening from our nuclear technician!" "Good luck." He opens the box excessively carefully...

Box 8 (Marvin) - Tk400

"There we go," Beth says. "That's how to do it!" "Right, four more then... number 10, please." "Jennifer, open box 10, hopefully another blue." "Hopefully so, yes."

Box 10 (Jennifer) - Tk10

"Ten in 10! That'll do!" "Maybe it'll be five in 5? I'll try box 5, Charles." "Well, it's quite the demand she's placed of you there, but as far as I'm concerned, any blue will do, Charles!" "All the best."

Box 5 (Charles) - Tk200,000

Beth cannot believe it. Nor can anyone else. "Yet again! It's almost like it's not fair - I can promise you, it is fair, the independent adjudicator is the only person who knows what's where and nobody's telling our players which boxes to pick - we have just had this extraordinary bad luck, and we're disappointed ourselves because we want to see dramatic big-money games too, believe me."

"I wish that counted for anything," Harriet says. "Two more to open, then another offer." "I'll go for number 11." "Caroline, we absolutely need to get this back on track - Tk75,000 is still life-changing money and I want to keep that dream alive."

Box 11 (Caroline) - Tk300

Muted applause. "Better. Now, one more." "Number 1." "Well, trying for five in 5 couldn't have worked any worse - but will it be one in 1? Elfar, open the box!" "I'm a big guy, but I've got a small number."

Box 1 (Elfar) - Tk50,000

"Oh, no you haven't!" The Banker rings up quickly... "Oh my goodness, he is actually, quite literally, laughing over the phone. No, really, he is."

Tk1
Tk5
Tk20
Tk50
Tk100
Tk150
Tk200
Tk1,000
Tk2,500
Tk7,500
Tk10,000
Tk15,000
Tk25,000
Tk75,000

Banker's offer:

Tk2,500

"I suppose I can still win a lot more than that," says Harriet. "It can't get worse." NO DEAL.

Dang! Another one who lost the Tk200,000 and Tk300,000!

If it happens again next game... Then just... wow.

"Well, the good news if you're really pessimistic is that you only have three to open in this round." "Cheers," Harriet responds sarcastically. "Number 24." "Aaron, our precision engineer - he needs to fix this!" "Hopefully this is the right tool for the job." Groan.

Box 24 (Aaron) - Tk20

"Oh yes, that works. It's a start. It's a big job, but that helps." "23, Yvie." "Three blues in this round and we can really start to say this is getting better. Open 23."

Box 23 (Yvie) - Tk1,000

"Well, that's the next best thing to a blue," Beth opines. "4, Zoe." "This box, to complete a real improvement, needs to be blue."

Box 4 (Zoe) - Tk15,000

"Oh!" The Banker rings up... "This is too easy. This is far, far, far too easy."

Tk1
Tk5
Tk50
Tk100
Tk150
Tk200
Tk2,500
Tk7,500
Tk10,000
Tk25,000
Tk75,000

Banker's offer:

Tk3,500

"Highest offer of the game so far." Satossy points out there are four higher and only three to open. Harriet says that "sometimes you just have to accept things aren't going your way, and other times you just have to see what happens and wait for things to get better, which very often they do. Just like the weather, really." NO DEAL it is, and an obligatory weather pun from Beth: "Harriet needs the clouds to clear over her game - let's hope for bright spells after the break!"

"We're back with Harriet Rees playing Deal or No Deal... it's been a stormy start for the meteorologist, but we all know how much the weather can change quickly, and we need that to be the story of this game as well. Three boxes to open - clearly the Tk75,000 is crucial." "Number 3." "Sharon, we're with you, and we need a blue." "Will do!"

Box 3 (Sharon) - Tk5

"That's what we like to see. Much more like it!" "Number 7, Ellie." "Ellie, carry on in that vein and Harriet will start getting much better offers." "All the best."

Box 7 (Ellie) - Tk150

"That's two! Are we going to get three in a row and really turn this around?" "I do hope so," says Harriet in a statement of the bleeding obvious. "Number 2, Satossy." "Satossy, it's down to you to finish this round with, hopefully, a third blue in a row. Can we go a round without a single red?" "I hope so, and now we'll see." "Indeed we will..."

Box 2 (Satossy) - Tk25,000

"Oh, dear, that is a real blow. All goes wrong again with the third box - in fact, it's been that way in every round. Every round, the big number has gone third." "Only two to open now though!", Scott points out. "Thank heavens for small mercies!"

The Banker says that he was going to make a lower offer until Scott made that remark!

Tk1
Tk50
Tk100
Tk200
Tk2,500
Tk7,500
Tk10,000
Tk75,000

Banker's offer:

Tk5,000

"That's not bad at all when you look at what's there," Satossy says. "Three are higher, but only one of them's really a lot higher. That said, it's still less than half of the mean, so you have room to play on." "I'd carry on, we've seen games get better in these rounds so far this week," suggests the rather less analytical Elfar. "We're due a game going wrong now, though," suggests the equally probability-unaware Iris. "None of those games matter now," points out Caroline.

Harriet speaks about how she'd like to adopt a child. "I had to have an abortion when I was still doing the weather, because I knew that I'd lose my career if I was pregnant..." Beth gasps in horror. "I... wait a minute, so they wanted you to be all sexy and when you make it really really clear that you've definitely had sex then you'd be gone?" Laughter. "It'd also make it really really clear that I wasn't actually available for sex, that was the whole point. But yeah, that whole episode made me terrified of bringing someone up in this world, and by the time I really changed my mind I was infertile, and there are enough neglected babies in this country to make me think I could help one of them have a better life." "I do really like that sentiment, and has that made you think about what you're looking for out of this game?" "It's definitely made me think a little bit, but I think that really, whatever will be will be in life sometimes. I don't know what lies ahead, I just have to let it happen sometimes. Maybe this is one of those times."

And so, when the button is available to be pressed... it isn't. NO DEAL.

"These are two crucial boxes. If they're both blue, we are absolutely on our way up. If the Tk75,000 goes, the hopes of a really big win go too."

"I'll... go for number 17." "Heath... this is an important box, they all are at this point, and I don't want Harriet to be leaving here with any regrets or with any despair. Open 17." "It's going to be good."

Box 17 (Heath) - Tk10,000

Groans. "Oh... that's not good, the only good thing about that is that it wasn't the Tk75,000. Now, I think, this really has to be blue." "Number 9, Paora." "Paora... big pressure on this box, it's even more volatile than ever." "I'm ready for it." "Thank you - I really hope you have nothing to worry about."

Box 9 (Paora) - Tk7,500

There are a couple of gasps from people who think it's the Tk75,000. "It's... not the 75, it's the seven and a half, but my word how dangerously are you living now, Harriet?" "I'm just beginning to wonder, if I've hit everything else but not that one, maybe it's because I have it?"

The Banker says he is "not unduly worried, because that's what people say to kid themselves into doing stupid things."

Tk1
Tk50
Tk100
Tk200
Tk2,500
Tk75,000

Banker's offer:

Tk5,000

"The same offer. Still two boxes to open. Now even more dangerous than ever." Satossy says that the mean has gone up so the offer is less generous, "but there really is no insurance now." "If you can't go away with nothing, Deal, this might be your last chance to escape," Jennifer suggests. "This is difficult, but sometimes you have to try and live the dream," argues Marius. "It's not like you're risking tens of thousands." "Tk5,000 is still a lot of money," replies Azeezat in response. "But Tk75,000 is not even comparable, it's so much more." "You might be able to go one round more and if you get two blues, you might then get a good offer and you could stop then. That worked pretty well for Carsten," adds Ruud.

"I can do things with Tk5,000, it's just that I feel as though I'm not going to cry over losing that, I can say it wasn't my day because everyone else has had the chance to win a lot more than that so far," Harriet says. "Whereas Tk75,000 is so different, it's such a dream, and while it's still there I just wonder if it's worth clinging onto." "Well, that's a decision that only you can make," Beth replies, "and this is the decision you face." Beth lifts up the lid on the button case, asks the question, and gets the answer - NO DEAL!

"Harriet is casting her fate to the wind - but which way will it blow? Find out after the break!"

"Welcome back to Deal or No Deal - and we're on a knife-edge here, with only the Tk75,000 propping up the game for Harriet. She's just declined Tk5,000 - if either of these boxes contain Tk75,000, she's not going to be seeing that again. If not, though, we could yet be in for a treat. The stakes are high - these are pivotal boxes."

"16 please, Ruud." "Ruud... you know the drill, you know what has to happen now... I really hope we get cheers and not groans when you open box 16." "This is honestly nerve-wracking, just being this side. I don't envy you. Good luck."

Box 16 (Ruud) - Tk75,000

Harriet just shakes her head. "Not my day. At all." Ruud looks more upset than she does. "All we can do is play for what's there, which is Tk2,500..." "Number 20, Scott." Scott opens his box very quickly...

Box 20 (Scott) - Tk200

Little reaction. "This game has absolutely gone the Banker's way, and right now, I'm sure, he will be struggling to contain his joy at his good fortune... there he is, he's laughing, he's really laughing..."

Tk1
Tk50
Tk100
Tk2,500

Banker's offer:

Tk400

Harriet shrugs. "At least Tk2,500 is decent," she says. There's not much else to say at this point. NO DEAL.

"Number 6, Jeltsje." "Jeltsje, just don't let it be Tk2,500, or this really will be completely awful."

Box 6 (Jeltsje) - Tk1

"Well, that's something. You'll at least have Tk50 to take home with you. Better than nothing." "Absolutely." "Bit late now," is the Banker's reaction!

Tk50
Tk100
Tk2,500

Banker's offer:

Tk600

"May as well go for the Tk2,500 now," Harriet says. NO DEAL, then.

"18 and 15 are left... which one do you want?" "Oh, 15." "Azeezat, one of those two blue ones, it really doesn't matter which."

Box 15 (Azeezat) - Tk100

"There we go!" "Well, I suppose this could have been worse." "It's either Tk50 or Tk2,500 in your box..."

Banker's offer:

Tk1,093

There is laughter from the audience, 1093 being a significant number in Kytlerian culture. "Deal!", one wag in the audience shouts. "Having got this far," Harriet says, "I think I might as well finish what I've started, it's not like there's that much to lose." NO DEAL, then...

"Now, you have a final decision to make. If you wish, you can swap your box for the other one, number 18. Everyone who turns down all the offers will get that decision. Do you wish to swap?" "No, I'll stick with this one," Harriet says, pointing to 22. "Very well, then. And now we find out what's in it. Is it going to be a nice consolation of Tk2,500 from a bad game? Or are you going to leave us with just Tk50?"

Beth opens Harriet's box 22 - Tk50

"It really wasn't your day, Harriet."

Box 18 (Kamira) - Tk2,500

"Me and television are clearly not meant to mix," Harriet jokes. "But it's been great to be on the show, great to speak to you as well because I know you have an idea of what I've been through, and life goes on, right?" "Life goes on. Thanks for playing, Harriet!" Consolatory applause from the audience as Beth signs out - "That's the nature of this game, alas - sometimes you can be just a passenger in your own game as it collapses in front of you. We'll be back next week - I'm sure that we're going to see some really dramatic games then, and you won't want to miss them!"

Unlucky... This series is DOND-September!

Note to self: If I ever make my own series - which is unlikely - ensure that everyone wins big for personal satisfaction.

In my series nearly everyone wins 6-figures or more... D:

Note to self (#2): Ensure that there are at least three seven-figure amounts on the board in potential series, a la Miljonenjacht. Also include elements from Affari Tuoi, and the games played here on the forum (amount shifters sound cool).