30 boxes, just one question. It's time to break a hiatus here, and have another game.

Taking the walk of wealth... GORDA, with box #26! Gorda is a pig from Rochdale who made her first appearence in an episode of Waterloo Road. Some girl let her free, and now she's going on a fast food binge. (She's NOT pregnant!) She has a picture of herself and a picture of her piglets: Grosse and Pinguis.

She wants money to raise her kids away from the farm, hopefully in a nice villa. She also wants to have a year's supply of McDonald's fries. She isn't much of a gambler, but she wants the experience.

Noel: So Gorda, let's see what your joke prizes are, decided by the banker, and let's see what the special squares are as well.

First joke prize: Large Fries! You want fries with that?
Second joke prize: 140 FarmVille Cash! You could by a villa with that! Shame it isn't real...
Third joke prize: Nike Skyline! Never knew there was a Nike shoe named after me!

Noel: And our special squares please?

Cookie_Monster, Aaron Brock's Mystery Chance, and Super-Shifter!

Noel: Gorda, are you nervous?

Gorda: Yup!

Noel: Perfect, you can start picking boxes!

9 - Dewey - £5! Perfect start!
Gorda: That's just what I need now, Oink Oink.

30 - Toonie - NOELSFAN!! Whoops...
Gorda: Oh god, it's gonna be one of these games.
Noel: Hold on Gorda, we've only just begun.

Today, the NOELSFAN was worth £8,758,886.

17 - Ainsi - £5,000,000! Oh dear, oh deary me...
Gorda: Told you Noel. She starts crying.
Noel: Don't make this game miserable! We're here to have fun. Hehe...
Newbie Methanol: You still have the £10,000,000. Stop complaing, you fat cow.
Gorda: Excuse ME? I'm not a cow, I'm a pig! Are you blind?
Methanol: Yes, haha.
Noel: OK then, break it up.

12 - Jim - Cookie Monster!
Noel: Sorry, it wasn't the correct square. There's still two more special squares, so don't fret.
Gorda: I guess so...

22 - Freeze - Super-Shifter!
Gorda: Oh blast it... I WANT A SPECIAL SQUARE
Noel: You can still win big without it! Look at Gabriel yesterday!
Gorda: I'll go for that d***head Methanol then...
Noel: Uh... Gorda? Stop being so childish! You don't swear on National TV, or the DOND.co.uk forum.
Methanol: I hope it's the £10,000,000.

19 - Newbie Methanol - 140 FV Cash!
Gorda: Thanks Methanol, you cow, you.
Noel: That's quite enough, Gorda, and Methanol!

The Banker Calls...



Noel: He seems to have picked up on your disputes, I guess. That, is a fantastic offer.
Methanol: Too right, you idiot.
Gorda: As tempting as that sounds, (yeesh), I think I'm ready for the question.
Noel: £70,000, plus a day with the fabulous Methanol; Deal, or No Deal?

Gorda: NO DEAL!
Methanol: You utter pig. I hate you.

Round 2

Gorda: I hope this round's gonna be a bit better... I need more than a large fries here... I'll go for the lovely Sonic.

Sonic: Good luck Gorda
1 - Sonic - £5,000!
Gorda: Thanks Sonic! Nice of you to help my game. Next... I'll go for Eugeno.

Eugeno: *Croak* Do you think I could give you Aaron Brock's Mystery Chance?
Noel: Sorry Gorda... you'll have to pick either Derek, Crocobot or Porcupe.

3 - Eugeno - £250! - Fantastic stuff.
Gorda: Thanks Eugeno. Let's see if I can get the Mystery Chance to activate...

4 - Crocobot - £500!
Gorda: Oops... I think I'll go for #5 *EDITOR'S NOTE: Slight mistake...*

5 - Lemono - £100,000!
Lemono: That's sour stuff.
Gorda: Meh...

25 - Porcupe - £750,000!!
Noel: Yeesh! We could have done without that one...

Gorda: I'll go for 16..
Noel: Hang on... don't you want to speak to the banker?

*Banker Calls*
*For avoiding me... I'm going to reduce your offer by 90%, you fat pig!*

Noel: He stands by what he says...



Gorda: That's a good offer...
Methanol: No you dumb wench, it's blatantly abysmal.
Noel: That's enough Methanol... anymore of your cheek insults and we're gonna ask you to leave.

The Banker calls again (This will piss off BankerSpanker! )

Noel: He says that Methanol, if you insult Gorda one more time, the next offer will double!

Gorda: Thanks Mr. Banker
Methanol: Ah... uh... I...
Gorda: That will shut you up, you nasty piece of work. I've been here at least 20 games, and practically everyone is my friend here, except you. So get a life, you idiot!
Methanol: Groan...

Gorda: I'm ready for the question, Noel.
Noel: £19,950... DEAL OR NO DEAL!

Gorda: Sorry Banker, it is a crap offer, so No Deal.

*The Banker Calls*
*Do you want me to repeal that?*

Round 3.

Gorda: This is exciting... glad I've still got the £10,000,000! Looks like I'll go for Derek. 16 please!
Noel: This is your last chance to get a Mystery Chance Gorda, otherwise you won't have the advantages of the special square...

16 - Derek - £2! Groans from the studio... Gorda says that's still fantastic.

7 - Hal - £1!
Gorda: Fantastic! After that crappy start, things are finally looking lucky!

15 - Stephen - 10p!!
Gorda: Oh my god! NICE!
Coco Pops: Pick me next!
Noel: If you manage to get rid of the Large Fries, you'll earn a place in the hall of fame as the first person to remove the lowest amounts in one round...

13 - £2,500!
Noel: OH DEAR... OH DEAR... Should have been a lot more brave picked someone else...
Gorda: Oh my god, an all blue round! Didn't know I was going to have one! I'm chuffed, seriously.
Methanol: You ars...
Noel: Tut tut tut.
Gorda: I hope the banker heard that.

*The Banker Calls*
heard what? I'm not deaf, you idiotic pig. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and raise your offer by 1% since it was a tame insult...

Gorda: That's not good enough, silly fool!
Fine then, you get NOTHING, you greedy pig. I knew this was going to happen with you...



Gorda: That is a good offer Noel, but I'm ready for the question...

Noel: £355,000... DEAL... or NO DEAL?

Gorda: NO DEAL!

The crowd claps... except Methanol.

Round 4.

Gorda: Let's have another all blue round then!

Noel: We can do it... if the boxes are with us.

14 - Olga - Aaron Brock's Mystery Chance! - It was sitting here the whole time. Oh well...
Gorda: Blast it... why couldn't you have box 16 Olga?
Olga: Come on Gorda, play on...

28 - Nick - £15!
Gorda: Get in! Great stuff! I'll go for the gorgeous Sinta next
Sinta: I'm honored, Gorda. If you ever win the £25, remember, you can buy all 28 Donut Games with that. Get Cat Physics too.
Noel: We do not appreciate shameless advertising here. Open the box, you frisky cat...

23 - Sinta - £250,000!!
Gorda: oof... can I not change my mind!
Goombario - Come on Gorda... that's not the £10,000,000...

10 - Luke - £100!
Gorda: Passable!
Noel: This is looking to be a GREAT game!

*THE BANKER CALLS*
Erk! Why is she taking out all the blues! What a cheat... she's probably looked at the boxes... so I'm going to get her out of the crazy chair before she leaves with the £10,000,000...



Gorda: Hmm... I'm stumped, honestly. I need a bit of help though. What would you do, Lee?

Lee: I'd probably go for it. You still got some really juicy sums. And Nike Skylines are nice shoes. I've even got a pair on myself...

Limez: I'd go on.

Noel: Tell you what... raise your hand if you would go on.

Everyone raises their hand except for Mutya.

Mutya: I'm just really scared I'll have a horrible round... :/

Gorda: I'm ready for the question.

Noel: £640,141... DEAL... OR NO DEAL?

Gorda: NOOOOOOOOOO DDEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLL

Everyone cheers. Except Mutya.

Mutya: What have you done?

Methanol: Shut up, you pathetic coward. At least she's going on, as f****** stupid as she is.

*BANKER CALL*

Gorda... I'm gonna raise the offer by 15% next round... but don't tell anyone...

Noel: What did the banker say?

Gorda: The Banker is gonna tell me which box contains the £10,000,000 after looking at all the boxes!

*BANKER CALL*

For that, Gorda, you cheeky pig... I'm only raising it by 10% now! How dare you lie. Don't tell anyone that either or you'll get nothing.

Noel: So...
Gorda: He hopes I lose.

Round 5

Gorda: Let's make this a quick round then, guys! How many boxes?

Noel: Three this round.

21 - Mutya - Large Fries!
Gorda embarasses herself by dancing around, being all wobbly.
Gorda: I TOLD YOU MUTYA! Fortune favours the brave!
Methanol: You're speaking too fast, let's watch you crash and burn, you fa...
Noel: Ah!

6 - Limez - £500,000!!
Gorda: That's perfectly fine, it's not the £10,000,000... or the £2,500,000! Don't worry Limez!
Limez: It's pronounced Lim-ez. Not like limes. GAH! STOP SAYING MY NAME INCORRECTLY.
Gorda: O...K... then.

24 - Goombario - £10,000! Nice.
Gorda: Fantastic! I'm feeling really confident now.

Noel: Remember Gorda... the banker is going to up your offer by 10% due to Methanol...

*BANKER CALLS*
The offer is really £870,000... but it's now increased. So...



Gorda: I can't believe I'm doing this... but just one more round.

Noel: £957,000... DEAL... OR NO DEAL?

Gorda:























NO DEAL!

Round 6...

Gorda: No chit chat... let's make this a nice quick round.
Methanol: That's the best thing you've said all day, you...

27 - Lee - £10,000,000!

Gorda: OK...
She starts sobbing.
Lee: I know it's hard when you see the £10,000,000 in another one's box... but look at that cash still there! £2,500,000... £1,000,000... even a chunky £72,000... come on Gorda

Gorda: I... just don't feel boo hoo

20 - Joel - £1,000!!
Noel: If that makes you feel better...

8 - Troy - Nike Skyline!
Gorda: I feel... a bit better now...

*BANKER CALLS*
Sorry about that... Gorda You'll feel better if you fold! We can't have her having a 7-figure sum, so it's time for the govenor, which hasn't yet been invented...



*LOW D on the piano plays... people who watch DOND everyday, you know what I'm talking about *
Gorda: Fancy that... I really am stuck here. I need a bit of the old advice. Methanol?

Methanol: FAT chance I'm gonna give you any advice! Hopefully, you'll fail. Ha.
Gorda: Shut your big poisoned yap! What gutter did you graduate from?
Methanol: For your information, the one opposite American Apparel in Oxford Street, actually.
Gorda: One day Karma's gonna bite you in the arse. Hopefully you'll win less then £1.
Methanol: Bring it on, cu..

Noel: BREAK IT UP! BREAK IT UP!

Dewey: Ignore the urine that comes out of his mouth... I saw you crying when the £10,000,000. I honestly don't think you could take winning a blue... so I'd Deal.

Coco Pops: Ha... that's a defeatist Deal. No Way!

Heidi: I'd Deal... it's better off to have £462,000 with a higher amount in the box... than to have a measly £25... Your choice.

Gorda: I think I'm ready for the question... Noel...

Noel: £462,000... DEAL.... OR NO DEAL?

Gorda: DEAL!

*Deal music plays*

Noel: I appreciate your decision. Now, I have to ask you to now play with total honesty for the last round in proveout.

Proveout Round 7.

Gorda: Let's smash this game.

2 - Knuckles - £2,500,000!! Amazing son!

29 - Heidi - £72,000! More cheers from the studio.
Noel: However, there's another crocodile to slay... 11 or 18?

18 - George - £50!
Awwww...

*BANKER CALLS*
HaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! I know exactly what to do in a situation like this. this is a No Brainer.



Gorda: No way Mr. Banker... NO DEAL.

Noel: You've turned down a very risky, but potentially rewarding gamble... but was it the right decision?

In your box 26 Gorda...




















































£1,000,000!

Noel: It turns out... that you were destined to win a Power 6 amount, and go home with a 7 figure sum... just what the banker didn't want....

Gorda: £462,000 is not to be sniffed at everyone.
Everyone claps and agrees.
Gorda: I could have had £538,000 more... but turning off your 20/20 hindsight caps... is it worth it to risk only winning £25 instead of 40,000 times as much on a coinflip, if £462,000 is lost?
Everyone claps except one pilgrim...

Mark: OH DEAR... OH DEAR... OH DEAR...
Should have been a LOT more brave.
Should have listened to the Banker's biggest worry.

2 bodyguards approach the disgruntled member of the audience, and promptly throw him all the way to Hull.
*AND STAY OUT*

Noel: Tune in for the next game of Deal or No Deal. The next episode may be tomorrow, or maybe in 2013... we hope you enjoyed this game, and tune in tomorrow... or maybe in 2013. Whatever the date, see you there!