Lee's game today.

Lee is a liger from London. He is a large, rather built feline, but is very friendly really. He has a picture of his father and mother.

Noel: So how did those two cats meet then?
Lee: They tell me, that they met after my mother killed a giraffe. She was quite a moody one, so she really guarded her kills. A male lion, which was my father, who loves giraffe as well, came over to taste some of the meat. My mother, you see, got extremely pissed off, and chased my father away. My father liked that... it was what he liked in a woman. So, he approached, explained everything. After a few days, they fell in love, and the rest is history.

Noel: So, you have box 27 with you. So tell me, Lee, pray tell, what do you want the money for?
Lee: It's common knowledge that male ligers are mostly infertile. Including me. I want the money to have an operation to pay for my fertility.
Noel: So how much money are you looking for, then?
Lee: I can't say that! The Banker's gonna take advantage of me otherwise...

Noel: Now let's see what your joke prizes are:
Joke Prize 1: Fountain Pen. We'd all like to look posh with those!
Joke Prize 2: FP1 Book. Lots of deathly complicated maths there...
Joke Prize 3: 28 Donut Games. Endless fun with all 28 of the Donut Games. Includes Frogbert!

And now, let's see your special squares: Killersbee Sting, Blammo, and Daniel123's Multiplier!

Noel: OK then, let's commence this game. I'd like to confirm that you didn't look at any boxes before the game began...
Lee: No way. Cheating is a sin.
Noel: So, Lee, pick your first box!

Lee: I'd like to go for Ainsi please. Box 17.
Ainsi: Good luck Lee, hope it's the 1p!
17 - Ainsi - NOELSFAN!
Noel: NO NO! NOT a good start there Lee. I can reveal to you that the NOELSFAN was £9,150,625 today.
Lee: Phew! If it was more than £10,000,000 I wouldn't be too chuffed...
Ainsi: Sorry Lee...
Methanol: HA! Perfect start!
Lee: Uh Methanol? Gorda's gone now. Keep your insults someplace else. Joel son, give us something good...

20 - Joel - £10,000,000!
Lee: That's fine... I'm OK, I'm OK...
Mutya: I TOLD YOU to Deal!
Noel: We haven't reached the first offer yet... calm it!
Lee: I'd like to go for Crocobot now...

4 - Crocobot - £15!
Lee: That's much better. Ten million times better!
Crocobot: Well done Lee!

13 - Coco Pops - £25! The studio claps.
Lee: We can turn this around... can't we? I'd like to go for the hot Heidi next!
Heidi: Good luck Lee! THink I have the multiplier in my box!

29 - Heidi - £1! More claps from the studio.
Lee: Get in!

3 - Eugeno - £250,000!
Lee: That's quite alright! I'm happy with that!

*BANKER CALLS*
Hmm... Lee's already a legend for getting rid of those big two. Thanks Lee. I like you already. Noel, here's my offer... he'll hopefully take this!



Lee: I'm ready for the question.
Noel: £51,051... Deal... or No Deal?
Lee: You can stick your offer up your butt, Mr. Banker. No Deal.
B flat... C.

Round 2.

Lee: Next on the Agenda... Lemono please. Number 5.

5 - Lemono - Daniel123's Multiplier! Groans from the studio.
Noel: I'm afraid one special square won't be used today...
Lee: That's alright...

16 - Derek - Fountain Pen!
Lee: Great stuff! Lovin' it! I'll go for Troy next... let's have the killersbee sting in there son.

8 - Troy - £1,000,000!
Lee: Oh shoot... I'm losing all the big ones. Can I start again.

*BANKER CALLS*

NO.

Lee: Alright then, it's time to go for box 12 then. Jim!

12 - Jim - £5,000,000!!
Lee: Oh god... is this already going to be a £750,000 game?
Noel: Don't jynx it...
Methanol: Hopefully...

Lee: Alright... I'll go for Mr. Goombario next...

24 - Goombario - BLAMMO!! Another special square bites the dust.

Noel: Lee... the only chance of getting a special square to activate is in box 28.

*BANKER CALLS*
I just love it when those special squares don't work. Aha. Here's hoping that box 28 will contain the £2,500,000... we can only wish though. Thankfully me and Lady Luck are friends, or so it seems. The offer is...


Lee: He rose by a measly penny? What a cheap old fart.
Noel: ...
Lee: I'm ready for the question Noel...
Noel: Quick one aren't you. £51,051.01... Deal, or No Deal?

Lee: DEAL!
Noel:
Lee: UNDEAL, UNDEAL.
Noel: That's better.

Round 3.

Lee: Let's get rid of some of those sky blues then, shall we? I'm going for Nick now...
Nick: Hope this is what you want...

28 - Nick - KILLERSBEE STING!!
Noel: This means that you're going to recover this game slightly. Killersbee Sting activates.

Lee jumps around as the vales of £1,000 and £3,000 change to £1,000,000 and £3,000,000.
Lee: I feel so much better now... I'll go for the newbie, that little kitten there.

Noel: Welcome to the game Hawley. Now, let's see if you have the penny.
Hawley: Sure, dude.

26 - Hawley - £10,000!
Lee: Thanks mate.
Lee: I'll go for Dewey next:

9 - Dewey - £500! Nice.
Lee: Next... the horrid Methanol.
Methanol: Hope it's the £3,000. Haha.

19 - Methanol - £2!
Lee: Fantastic. I'm gonna give you the £2 kiss for that.
Methanol: Oh rats...

*Banker Calls*
RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATS. WHY DOES ENDEMOL HAVE TO PUT THESE BLASTED SPECIAL SQUARES? I'm so going to sue them for losing all my precious money. Those are my only friends, you know!
Lee: Didn't you say Lady Luck was your friend?
Uh... um... imaginary friends count don't they?
Lee: Hah.



Lee: There's definitely at least one more round to this. Noel, ask me the question.
Noel: £249,000... Deal... or No Deal?

Lee:


NO DEAL!

Round 4.

Lee: I would like to leave 22 and 10 till the end. I was born on the 22nd October, and my mother was also born there. That's also the date I got my first kill...
Noel: What poor animal did you brutally murder then?
Lee: A frog. I accidentally stepped on it while I was having a drink at the river. Always loved french food anyway... I think I'll go for box 21, the lovely Mutya:
Mutya: I think you should have dealt that offer, to be honest Lee...

21 - Mutya - £2,500,000!
Noel: If it wasn't for the handy killersbee sting, you would be into 6-figures now...
Lee: Drat!

25 - Porcupe - £100!!
Lee: That's better! Now, 30, the very last box... Toonie!

30 - Toonie - £50! AMAZING!
Lee: It's just... that that pesky 1p is just worrying me now.... I need to get rid of it before 11-box... Do you have it George, do you?

18 - George - £5!!
Noel: You've balanced that £2,500,000 going. This is certainly going to be an interesting offer now...

*BANKER CALLS*
Come on Lee, you've got to start what you finish. If you start with a red, for heaven's sake, you have to have an all red round. My offer is...



Lee: Almost a stick there. The Banker sure is stingy.
Noel: A very clever offer that. What do you make of it?
Lee: It is a pretty decent offer... I think I'm ready for the question.

Noel: £270,000... Deal or No Deal.
Lee: Stick that stick up yours! No Deal!

Cheers from the studio!

Round 5.

Noel: You only have to pick three boxes this round, but still, be careful.
Lee: Alright then... Lim-ez please.
Limez: Someone pronounced it right... ...finally.
Lee: Aren't I special?

6 - Limez - £100,000! Eek.
Noel: Probably... wanted to keep that, but needs must. Focus on not getting the £1,000,000 and £3,000,000.
Methanol: No, you stupid host, how can you focus on something that only happens out of sheer luck, you tool?
Noel: Methanol, this is not going to get you anywhere but out of the doors of the studio. Stop making rude remarks to everyone.

7 - Hal - £5,000!
Lee: That's great, but where is that blasted 5p?! Sinta, let's have it in here son...

23 - Sinta - £3,000,000!
Noel: You're back down to only having one 7-figure sum now. The Banker is surely going to use that fact in this next offer.

*BANKER CALLS*
Yes! That killersbee sting is useless if the values aren't in your box. I love when this happens. It's time for a defeatist offer!



Lee: I don't want to hear it. I know when I'm beaten, and it's not now.
Noel: If you have the nightmare round, which has a 10% chance of happening, the offer will be low.

*BANKER CALLS*
If you take out the 7p and the joke prizes, the offer will be huge! If you take the top 3... the offer will be £6,000.

Lee. That 10%'s given me a bit of confidence. NO DEAL!

Round 6.

Lee: Let's do this round. Box 14, Olga please!
Olga: Good luck Lee. I really hope this is good for you...

14 - Olga - 7p!!!
Lee: OMG! I get to kiss the lovely Olga, and I GOT RID OF THE 7p!
Olga: Haha, thanks!
Noel: Don't celebrate too hard yet... because there are TWO more fish to fillet...
Lee: I'll go for... 11. Kirby.

11 - Kirby - 28 Donut Games!
Lee: THANK YOU SOOO MUCH KIRBY!
Noel: Can we pull off the perfect round?
Lee: YES WE CAN! 15 please!
Noel: Stephen... we want the roof to be lifted up by...
Methanol: Endless chortling.
Noel: loud cheering, Methanol. Grow up.

15 - Stephen - £500,000! Groans from the studio.
Lee: We could have done without that... but I'll let that slide.

*BANKER CALLS*
Phew! I could have done without that perfect round...


Lee: That's a toughie... I've always been known to be a gambler... but... that's a killer. I need some advice. Eugeno, what would you do?
Eugeno: I'd Deal.
Lee: I'm not going to ask Mutya... so let's see. Everyone except Mutya, raise your hands if you would deal:
About 70% of the studio would Deal.
Lee: But... I know everyone says this, but you're only here once... I really want to go to the end... is it worth it though?
Noel: It can be rewarding...
Lee: I'm ready for the question...
Noel: £297,000... Deal... or No Deal?

Lee:















NO DEAL!

Round 7.

Heartbeat music plays.

Lee: 1, Sonic. Make it blue please...

1 - Sonic - £1,000,000!

The studio falls silent.
Lee: That's not gonna stop me! Look at that lovely £750,000!
The studio cheers and claps.
Lee: 2 please, Knuckles.

2 - Knuckles - FP1 MATHS BOOK!!
Lee: THANKS KNUCKLES! THANKS A BUNCH!
Noel: Now... those two boxes remain. If you find the £250 Lee... you're in a VERY strong position. Now Lee... 10 or 22?

Lee: 22 please...
Freeze: Here's hoping it's the £250...

22 - Freeze - £250!!!!
The studio goes WILD!!!

*BANKER CALLS*
Oh screw it! Why couldn't he keep the £250... and the FP1 book! It's these days where I probably should have got a degree in English Literature!


Lee: With a situation strong as that, what's to lose? I'm ready for the question Noel...
Noel: £375,000... DEAL OR NO DEAL?
Lee: NO DEAL!.
Noel: So... after that disastrous first round... did you actually bring a very high sum of money to the game?

Lee: I certainly hope so.










In box 26 containted...


































£79,000!
Groans here...
Lee: That's perfectly alright I guess. Really happy with that.
Noel: So Lee... what was your target after all?
Lee: I'm afraid it was £80,000... but it was so low I thought the banker was gonna take advantage of that...

*BANKER CALLS*
I suppose I could give you an extra 10p to help fund that operation...
Lee: DEAL!

Lee wins £79,000.10!

Lee: Psst... the operation only costs £25,000... I just wanted £65,000 for myself...