Kirby's game today.

Kirby isn't a pink blob, but a blue-and-yellow Macaw from Brazil. He is 25 years old and can speak 7 different languages: Portugese, Spanish, English, French, Italian, Corsican, and Krio. He has his wife in the audience, a red-and-green macaw. He hopes to have children, hoping one of them turns out to be a flying rainbow!
He has some pictures:
Him eating his favorite food
Him and his brother as children. Sadly, his brother was sadly killed by a jaguar.

He hopes to raise some money to create a huge parrot reserve free of jaguars and other nasty predators. National charity #1048576.
Kirby has box #11 with us today. Kirby feels physically sick! He hopes to have a great game.
Noel: Let's start this then... but before... let's check your joke prizes and special squares for today:

Joke Prizes: Jaguar Plush, Stabilo Pen Set, and New Super Mario Bros.
Special Squares: Cookie Monster, Wakey Nightmare and Super-Shifter.

Round 1
Kirby: I'd like to start with my least favorite number please, number 5. My brother was killed on the 5th May, at age 5... so it would be nice to get rid of that!
Lemono: Good luck Kirby!
5 - Lemono - £500,000! A few groans from the pilgrims!
Kirby: Phew, phew! I didn't tocar any of the Power 5 at least! Next, numero ocho!

8 - Troy - £15! Fantastic!
Noel: Brilliant stuff!
Kirby: Freeze... what box should I go for next?
Methanol - Why are you asking him, you dumb parrot?
Freeze: It would be great to open mine, so go for it! If it's a blue... I get a gay kiss!

22 - Stabilo Pen Set!
Kirby: Phew... it's pink, so I don't have to kiss you! Thank god!
Freeze: I'm insulted Kirby, very, very much.
Kirby: Sorry Freeze... but you made your promise. 17 please.

17 - Ainsi - £100,000!
Kirby: Coco Pops!
Noel: How ever did you get that nickname?
Coco Pops: It's not a nickname... it's my real name. Guess my parents loved the stuff. They had a few ruffles with the court after I was born, but people should live with it.

13 - Coco Pops - £1! Woo.
Kirby: Thank you SO MUCH, you little legend.
Noel: Just one more box, and you've survived round one without heaving!
Kirby: *bleurgh*! I'll go for the beautiful Heidi next.

29 - Heidi - £50!! The crowd cheers.

Noel: Kirby... that, was a pretty good round. The power 6 is intact. You took two reds out, and four low blues. That's a very good first round, so I wonder what the banker makes of that.

*BANKER CALLS*
I hate good rounds. I hate it hate them hate that hate this hate all. Take this offer and shove it off your *beep*!



Kirby: I'm not going to faf around with the first offer here. Ask me the question Noel:
Noel: £155,000... DEAL, or NO DEAL?
Kirby: NO DEAL!

Round 2.

Kirby: I'm feeling somehow confident today...
Noel: Yes, I understand... after such a good first round...
Kirby: But it's not about how you start, it's about how you finish...
Noel: Tell me something I don't know before...
Kirby: Let's finish things perfectly then. Number 30 please!

30 - Toonie - £2! Absolutely fantastic!
Kirby: Just . Number 27 please... that must be our newbie, Sharkey.
Noel: Sharkey, welcome to the game! Make sure you don't get that box 27 too wet. How's your tank... anything you want me to do?
Sharkey: Just turn up that jacoozie for me will ya? Thanks.

27 - Sharkey - £5,000,000!
Kirby: Oh dear... first hit... you've got to get rid of it sometime though... I'd like to have it in my box though!

*BANKER CALLS*
No chance, Mr. Christian.

Kirby: Shut up, Mr. Banker. I'd like #15 please, little Stephen, thanks.

15 - Stephen - £1,300!
Noel: Now that, that actually... is a lot better. If we can find the 1p... we're in a VERY good position.
Kirby: I'd want to go for little Hal next...
Hal: I'm not little! I'm a jaguar... and I'd eat you for my dinner if we weren't in the studio.
Kirby: Yipe! I thought you were a leopard...

7 - Hal - £250,000!
Kirby: That's... OK... but... uh... Miss Mutya! could you give me a nice special square?

21 - Mutya - £1,000,000!

*BANKER CALLS*
Yes... I love a little bit of erosion on the red side of the board! This game is going to be destroyed by round 4... I promise you that.



Noel: That is a very generous offer for the board, honestly. The banker is reading you as a gambler. And for that, there's going to be some huge offers if you manage to keep the NOELSFAN and the 10 mil
Kirby: Yes, exactly. This is early-days. Why leave on the third of you can stay til the 31st....? Ask me the question Noel:
Noel: Kirby: £322,102... DEAL... OR NO DEAL?

Kirby: NO DEAL!

Round 3.

Kirby: I still have three special squares here... I'm thinking of perharps getting two this round? Let's start with Sinta.
Sinta: I hope this is what you want?

23 - Sinta - £5!
Noel: SINTA... Not good enough!
Kirby: Don't worry Sinta... Noel's an idiot!

*BANKER CALLS*
For saying that... Kirby, you get a extra £1.

Kirby: 14 please, Olga.
Olga: Good luck!

14 - Olga - Cookie Monster!
Noel: Olga... NOT GOOD ENOUGH.
Kirby: Should I go for £2? Noel, you idiot.

*BANKER CALLS*
Yes.

3 - Eugeno - NOELSFAN!
Kirby: Uh... how much was it then?
Noel: I can reveal that it was £11,022,065...
Kirby: Uh, that aside... the spiteful Methanol.

19 - Methanol - £2,500,000!!
Methanol: HARDY... HAR. HAR.!
Kirby: Not funny.

*BANKER CALLS*
HA! HA! Told you I'd be right!
Noel: Not yet you're not?
Way to jinx it... Noel.


Kirby: Now that's harsh.
Noel: But this round turned this board from stable to terrifyingly volatile. If you take the £10,000,000 next round, it's not going to be pretty.
Kirby: Ask me the question Noel:
Noel: £200,000... DEAL OR NO DEAL?
Kirby: No mucking about, NO DEAL!

Round 4.

Kirby... I'm worried for you. Four boxes, and you know what not to see...

Kirby: 2... Knuckles...
2 - Knuckles - 1p!!

Kirby: I feel a lot better. Thanks Knuckles... But we can't do the 1p kiss... my beak is pretty sharp... I don't want to cause any accidents. Let's get some blues now!

1 - Sonic - £750,000!!

Kirby: Oh god...
Noel: That actually increases the unstability of the board 5,000 fold. Kirby... watch out.

25 - Porcupe...

Porcupe reveals... £250! Claps from the studio...

Noel: One more box... get rid of the Jaguar plush.

18 - George - £77,500!!
Kirby: Oh no... This is horrid.

*BANKER CALLS*
That is an unstable board if I saw one. I love it. I love it.



Noel: I'd think about this one. Really
Kirby: It's just that... it's so exposed... there's not much chance of taking it out later on...
Crocobot: Yeah... but it's not very likely to have it in the box...
Kirby: It's just that... I'm just here for the experience. The money's a bonus. I've made my decision.

Noel: Kirby... £350,000... DEAL... OR NO DEAL...?

Kirby: Thank you Mr. Banker...

... NO DEAL!!

Round 5.

Noel: Remember... you have 3 shots. Don't tilt. Do it.

Uh... 4...

4 - Crocobot - Super Shifter!
Kirby: I could really do with a special square today...

20 - Joel - £25!
Kirby: Phew... come on... just one more box...

26 - Hawley - £2,750!!

Noel: This gamble paid off... This is going to be an intersting offer...


Porcupe: Kirby... you mentioned your cause for money at the start of the game... and you can't think about yourself now that you've said it.
Kirby: It's just that... it's all or nothing... but the odds are in my favour... I mean... I've got 7 boxes I can hit...
Hawley: It's a 5/8 chance of not hitting the £10,000,000. The odds are in your favor... but think of what £700,000 can do for you. Think about your dead brother... and think about how it's going to benefit all the parrots.
Kirby: Yeah... but with the chances in my favour... I think I'm ready for the question.

Noel: £700,000... DEAL... OR NO DEAL?
Kirby: NO DEAL!

Round 6.

Kirby: I want my wife to come down to the pound table... for support.
Noel: Sure! Come down, come down. What's your name?
Henrietta... Noel.

Kirby: I just need this to work... can I Deal?
Noel: I'm afraid it's too late. Good luck.

*HEARTBEAT MUSIC PLAYS*

Derek... let's not have it in there please!

16 - Derek...







£100!!
Cheers from the studio.
Kirby: Oh my god... thanks SO MUCH! Come on Luke... don't disappoint me...

10 - Luke - NSMB!!
Kirby: I'm going to make this next box quick. I can't deal with the tension.
Noel: If this isn't the £10,000,000... this roof is going to raise so high that all the jagaurs will be scared out of...
Kirby: NOEL? Henrietta... pick me a box.
Henrietta... Kirby... don't... oh fine... 9.

9 - Dewey - £500!!!!!!

Kirby: Oh... my... god... I knew it. Oh my god... I'm so relieved... Let me speak to the banker.
*BANKER CALLS*

Yeah Kirby... it's pretty obvious that the £10,000,000 is in your box today. You're on a roll, Kirby, so go on no matter the offer! Plus, you've got henrietta... come on!

Noel: What did he say?
Kirby: That the £10,000,000 is in the box.



Kirby: That... is Mega money. I said I'll go on to the end... but I remember my brother...
Methanol: Screw your brother, go on!
Noel: Kirby... one box and the maximum you can leave with is...
Hawley: ...almost 40 times smaller.
Noel: Thanks Hawley.
Kirby: I just can't... I just can't. Ask me the question Noel:

Kirby... £1,375,000...... DEAL... OR NO DEAL?

(with tears in his eyes) Kirby: DEAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Deal music plays.

Final round.

Noel: You know what to do. You've got to kill this game, and you've got three shots. You can do it.
Kirby: Uh... alright... Jim.

12 - Jim - Jaguar Plush
Kirby: Oh...
Noel: That actually... would have been the perfect start.

Kirby: Come on Goombario... let's have it in 'ere mate...

24 - Goombario - Wakey Nightmare

Noel: You have one more chance at this Kirby... you must find the £10,000,000... or the offer's going to be huge! Lim-ez... or Nick?
Kirby: Ip dip do, the cat's got the flu, the dog's got the chicken pox so out goes... 6... Limez...

6 - Limez - £10,000!!
Noel: Disaster!
Kirby: I don't mind to be honest... besides... £1,375,000 is so much money...

*BANKER CALLS*
See... see...? told ya... told ya...! This is gonna be great!


Everyone gasps

Kirby: I know that's four times as much...
Hawley: 3.322... actually!
Kirby: Thanks Hawley... but it's just not worth it. I was just unlucky there...
Hawley: He's right... with a 3/5 chance of getting it.
Kirby: But I'm so grateful... even if I could have had £10,000,000... I'll really use this money well.
Pilgrims cheer loudly.
Noel: Now for the moment of truth... did you have the £10,000,000 in the box? Was the Banker right all along?

Noel pulls the seal on box 11...














































£5,000!!

Kirby: OMG YES!
Noel: He was wrong! You were destined for a red! £5,000! Fantastic stuff!! ]
Nick... complete the game:

28 - Nick - £10,000,000!!

Kirby: I'm so grateful. Thank you so much everyone for a great experience... I love you all and miss you all.
Deal music plays, and everyone crowds around Kirby. There's a great feelgood factor in this ending too!

Kirby wins £1,375,002!